Updated: Aug 22, 2021
Darkness! I repeat, Darkness, in my Dave Chappelle voice. Has anyone else felt or been surrounded by darkness? Not the darkness that stems from sadness, pain, grief, hurt, and other heavy emotions but the absences of light. This darkness brings with it a heavy feeling of disorientation, discombobulation, and dissociation.
The disorientation is subtle. You flow in your daily routine and everything appears to be normal. Subtly, you’re hit with a wave of thoughts of things, tasks, projects, goals, and plans you need to work on. You stop what you are doing and try to work on something but no success, you feel completely overwhelmed and darkness settles in. The wave crashed, snuffed out your light and now you feel completely discombobulated.
The discombobulation comes and disrupts normalcy, daily routines, and habits. You’re forgetting small things, you’re a little behind schedule, and playing catch up with work and personal life. You are managing to stay consistent but darkness is reminding you that you still have things, tasks, projects, goals, and plans you need to work on. That overwhelming feeling sets back in and now has you feeling dissociated. You’re not connecting with anything but trying to stay consistently current and trying to work on things the darkness waves sets in.
The dissociation settles in and you try to connect with those individuals that feed your soul. Before you can take the first step they reach out to you first. The darkness turns into a flicker of light. The flicker of light continues to present itself in different ways. A deep conversation, a word of encouragement, an “I love you” text from a loved one, an opportunity knock at your door, and an unexpected blessing to name a few. Then you realize that despite the waves of darkness crashing in on you, you remained consistent with your everyday work and personal life. You may have had some difficulty in staying consistent but you did. It was that consistency that allowed those moments of light.
Darkness settles in sometimes and it can be overwhelming and cause disorientation, discombobulation, and dissociation but remain consistent. Sometimes that darkness appears just to see if you can remain consistent in the absence of light. Master staying consistent and your inner light will bring you flickers of light when darkness settles in.
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